I had a long break over the
festive season, some carer responsibility which I enjoyed and had some ‘me’ time (as my counsellor keeps
asking me to organise).
On Tuesday I had my last
counselling session. At times I can’t believe I have been lucky enough to have
so many counselling sessions. But I suppose it shows just how bad things were
for me at the time. I was always a big
supporter of talking therapy but it often not on offer for those of us with
mental health issues. Frequently there is a long waiting list and then only a
short number of sessions, nowhere near enough to begin to try and tackle the
issues. It is all so clear how mental health issues when left unsupported can
lead to further and more damaging issues for services users. I found this was
the case as a social worker and my personal experience has merely affirmed this
view.
I still get strong feelings of
depression, but now I feel more able to contain and understand what is
happening. Developing a coping strategy
has been critical to strengthening my mental health for the many challenges
that lie ahead of me. I don’t pretend that I can’t ever relapse, the fear of relapsing is something that
I am learning to deal with, it is hard, but I am ready for it.
I feel I know myself a little
better. I believe this will enable me to cope when facing difficult decisions on a regular basis; something we always seem to
have here in Barnet!
The Stigma, of being labelled
as being ‘tainted’ ‘unable to cope’ ‘unfit’ to be a trade union rep by
both employers, union comrades, members was
and still is a concern to me. In terms of my employer I have not yet seen
any evidence of my mental health being an issue. However it has disappointingly
been raised as an issue within the trade union community. I am disappointed,
but not surprised because ‘fear of mental health’ is not
something that confined to employers. It happens with our friends and families,
so why not trade union comrades. I supposed I am, just disappointed as I
expected better of trade union comrades. On a positive note I have some
fantastic solidarity and support within the trade union community and outside
it, along with friends and family. You can never underestimate the importance
of solidarity to the good mental health.
In my view real solidarity is one of the most
important and greatest strengths within the Trade Union movement and sometimes
you are surprised just where the strongest solidarity comes from.
My next challenge is to come
off the medication. I never wanted to take it, it was a compromise. I’ve never
been keen on medication and I am conscious I will never know how I am really
until I am off the medication. I will be arranging to meet my GP in order to
discuss how I manage coming off medication.
Now I am back representing
members, I am seeing on a regular basis the impact of austerity on the mental wellbeing of our members
regardless of the employer. The impact of cuts
to resources, cuts to staff but increased workloads, is predictably leading
to industrial scale levels of stress for our members. Austerity is literally destroying members and service users lives
and worryingly there is no sign of a fightback except in small pockets of
communities.
It is almost a year since my
breakdown, back them I was worn out, both physically and mentally. Now I am
feeling invigorated, energised for the fights ahead. To try and do the best for
my members and the community that I serve.
I have a very, very long ‘To
Do’ list.
In the midst of the bitter war
against Austerity, we can lose sight of the importance of the need to celebrate
and relax (something I am re-learning), with that in mind I want to plug our Solidarity Warm up for the 4 March NHS
march.
So be my guest and pop along
to:
Rock
against Austerity presents: “Sing your Heart out 4 our NHS”
Date: Saturday 25 February
2017, 7 pm til late
Venue: Midland Hotel, 29
Station Road, Hendon, London NW4 4PN
Download Flyer here http://bit.ly/2iooKiL
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